materials: cactus · cheetah print · hognose snake · dove  ·  13

keywords: hesitation · vigilance · desire · vulnerability · readiness

tarot resonance: nine of wands

How do we begin anything? Excited.But also: hackles up. No one wants to fail. 

You may carry, like all of us, the memory of all of your past failures, trials, heartbreaks. Yours, your parents, your ancestors as far back as the earth is long. Try not to remember this when you feel disgusted by your so-called “lack of bravery.”

Follow our friend the hognose snake who plays dead when life gets overwhelming. What a ham. The hognose snake thinks, “If I pretend to be dead, I may appear less appetizing to eat.” Or rather, the body of the snake snaps into this state automatically. And so it is also true with you. Is this pretend rigor mortis the Truth with a capital T? Probably not, but is current reality and living in the truth of what is happening is always a useful practice. Wanting and letting want is the free fall desire. It is a feeling of physical freedom. Swimming in the sea naked. Eating a second piece of cake. Forgetting for a moment that the world has any problems or that you have any either. 

Still, your body is saying: not yet. Believe yourself. Trust your limitations. Investigate this reaction without judgement. 

when open: staying curious

when closed: anxious